Never Had
by cerebralgoddess21
Summary: HHH and Stephanie think about if they have ever really loved eachother*~*2 chapters uploaded, after the match on raw, Steph & HHH's POV*~*
1. I Never Had Her

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All these tears I cry

Don't you wonder why

is it all a dream

Never what it seems

Gets under my skin

Should I let you in

Don't you think it's bad

To give me something that I never had

I look into her eyes and I don't even see the person that I thought I knew. I thought that I loved her, I thought that she felt the same way about me, but I guess I was wrong.

She is what I am, she is what I have become, without her, everything feels so wrong inside. 

Every word I say

Everytime I pray

Look into my eyes

Distant voices cry

is there light in me

Tell me what you see

You are what I have

Can't get something that I never had

Can't get something that I never had

In reality I know that I never really HAD her.. she never BELONGED to me, she was just my wife. Until that fateful day when she LIED to me, she took MY LIFE away from me, and my dreams. Why did she do this? Does she even care anymore?

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Should I think about tomorrow ohh

Should I live for just today

Take the light that burns inside you

Let it burn away

Let it burn away

Let it burn away

Right now she's looking me not like her husband, but as someone who she HATES. Someone who she DESPISES more than anyone in this world. Maybe, just maybe she still loves me and she just pretends that she hates me because she wants to hide her true feelings. 

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Will I see the day

Will I have to pay

What's inside of me

you will never see

Won't you let me in

Don't you let me see

Do you think I'm bad

Cause I want something that I never had

Cause I want something that I never had

My wife, my beloved, Stephanie McMahon. What happened to us? What happened to our reign in the WWF? I wish I could ask her all these things. If she only knew how I felt, maybe she would forgive me.. and maybe we could start over, that way things will be right again. 

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Give me something that I never had

Give me something that I never had


	2. Alone

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Been around this world so many times

if you could only see my mind

I watch my secret heaven turn to hell

People think that they know me. The real me. I am Stephanie McMahon. Once known as Stephanie McMahon Helmsley. But ever since my husband had "turned" on me then I was no longer Stephanie McMahon Helmsley- Now I'm just "daddy's little girl" again. 

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Faith alone has guided me

the ghost of my own destiny

I haven't even gotten a soul to sell

People tell me that I don't have a heart or soul, or else I would have at least SOME compassion for other people. Well I do have compassion for other people. I had compassion for Hunter, he was number 1 in my life! Until he made some bad decisions which lead to me lying about my pregnancy!

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All the thing I put me through

I wouldn't wish my hell on you

You'll never know what's going on inside

He would never know anyways. I never meant to cause any harm upon him, I just wanted us to be a happy couple again. Since he had returned he had been doing nothing but ignore me and yell at me. I deserve better, I deserve someone who will treat me like the dominant female that I am.

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Just another lonely broken person

picking up the pieces of my mind

running out of faith and hope and reason

I'm running out of time

I'm running out of time

I don't know what to do tonight. I will have a triple threat match with my husband, Triple H and Jericho. Maybe if I turn on Jericho and help HHH win! Yeah! That's what I'll do, I'll turn on Jericho and help my husband! But what if he doesn't return the favor?

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Trouble always seems to find

a way to live inside my mind

my haunted head and me remain alone

underneath my masquerade 

a simple woman who's so afraid

I try to find a light to guide me home

It seems like wherever I go there's trouble. Maybe I should just lose purposely to Hunter so I can leave. At least that would make him happy, that way he can still remain the Undisputed Champion, and if he loses the title, it won't be my fault.

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Feeling so afraid tonight

Cause your the only one that knows

Just another lonely broken person 

picking up the pieces of my mind

running out of faith and hope and reason

I'm running out of time

I'm running out of time

Fighting for my sanity 

many nights of tragedy

got to leave my wretched ways behind

That's it! I've got it! After I help Triple H beat Chris Jericho tonight I will prove that I have turned over a new leaf! And that I am still the woman who he loves! Stephanie McMahon Helmsley your a genius!

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underneath my masquerade

a simple who's still afraid


	3. after the match- Stephanies POV

That's it. It's over. Triple H pinned me and now I leave the federation for good. I know he only did that because he didn't want to lose his title but this is me! Stephanie McMahon! No one pins me! 

You're gonna miss my loving when it's gone  
(You'll come crying to me)  
You're gonna miss my loving when it's gone  
  
I don't know what to do now. I have nowhere to go. I can't be an "ordinary" girl. I'm a McMahon damnit! No one is the boss of me! Does Hunter really want me gone? I hope he understands that I will NEVER see him ever again. He won't want to see me. I thought that if I were to help with fighting Jericho that he would love me again; well I guess I was wrong.

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You're gonna miss my loving when it's gone  
(You'll come crying to me)  
You're gonna miss my loving when it's gone

  


Triple H will miss me, I know it. He already misses the love that we had, I can see it in his eyes. No one was like us, we dominated the federation at a time, together! We were unstoppable. How I miss those days. But he's changed now. He grew meaner, and more violating! He wouldn't even kiss me after he was out of "rehab." (that's what he would call it) I would be by his side encouraging him, telling him that he would come back to the federation and kick a lot of ass!~ But now those days are over-

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Now you may feel secure  
And you're as you please  
But soon you'll be begging on your knees  


He will come back to me, I know it. He'll be begging me to forgive him for all the nasty things he's done to me! 


	4. after the match- HHHs POV

Finally, the billion dollar princess is out of my life. But why is it that I miss her? After what she did to me during the match, why would I miss that little bitch? She used to be supportive of me. But when I got injured, what did she do? She bought that damn ECW! Tell me, what kind of wife does that? 

  
_Seems too long ago you walked way  
Left me alone  
And I remember what you said to me  
Kept on acting so strange  
And maybe I was too blind to see  
That you needed a change_  


It's over between her and me, and nothing will be the same EVER again after all the hell we put each other through. 

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Was it something I said, to make you turn away  
To make you walk out and leave me cold  
(Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm)  
If I could just find a way  
To make it so that she'll be right here  
right now  


I could also see the attraction between her and Chris Jericho. The way he would always check on her during the match, the way he would look at her. Why doesn't he marry her and then see what being in hell is like?! Or maybe he'll see heaven and then get the hell part later on like I did. 

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I've been sittin here  
Can't get you off mind  
I try my best to be a man and be strong  
I drive myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains  
Your gone (gone)  
Gone (baby your)  
Gone (your gone)  
(Baby girl you're) Gone  
Gone  
Gone  
Gone  


I wish I knew what she was thinking right now, she's probably thinking about how much she hates me. And how much she's going to miss Jericho. I'll never know, because she is gone.

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I'll just hang around and find some things to do  
Take my mind off missing you (take my mind off you)  
Yes I know in my heart you can't say that you don't love me too  
Please say you do  


Deep down I know how much I miss her, but I have to be a man about this, I don't need a woman by my side, even if that woman is Stephanie McMahon. 

But Stephanie never was an "ordinary" woman. She was special. She was there for me when I needed her, she stayed by my side while I was in rehab. I don't know anyone else who would spend so much time worrying about me. I don't know what to do, or how to act on this, because the truth is, Stephanie is gone and I will never see her again. 

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I've been sittin here  
Can't get you off mind  
I try my best to be a man and be strong  
I drive myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains  
Your gone (gone)  
Gone (baby your)  
Gone (your gone)  
(Baby girl you're) Gone  
Gone  
Gone  
Gone  
  
Am I there in your heart  
Baby why dont you see  
That I need you with me  
  
Gone  
  
I've been sittin here  
Can't get you off mind  
I try my best to be a man and be strong  
I drive myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains  
Your gone (gone)  
Gone (baby your)  
Gone (your gone)  
(Baby girl you're) Gone  
Gone  
Gone  
Gone


	5. our encounter

I was shopping in one of the stores near the last event where my own husband ended my career. I bought a few things and then was on my way but something had caught my eye. I looked over at the man who made my life hell since we were supposed to renew our wedding vows. I couldn't stand looking at him. A part of me hated him for what he did to me, but a huge part of me is so in love with him that it hurts to even look into his eyes.

Finally he saw me, he began to walk up to me as I paid for my grocery's and was leaving. He grabbed me by the arm and then turned me around so I could face him. "Princess? is that you? well, what a coincidence" he smirked. "Yeah, a horrible coincidence" I glared at him for a brief moment. "Stephanie, if you would've just been a tad bit more reasonable about our soon-to-be divorce then maybe." he stopped in mid sentence and then looked into my eyes. "What hunter? Maybe I could just move on with my life? Maybe I could move on to the next man who makes a pass at me! I don't want to Hunter, the only man I have EVER loved is you" my eyes filled with tears. 

He looked at me in complete shock. "Steph, I don't know what to say except-" 

"except what? that you hate me even more now?!" I cried. 

He took the paper bag with the groceries out of my hands and set them aside. Then he wrapped his arms around me as we hugged for a long time. "I'm sorry Hunter, I'm so sorry" I cried on his shoulder. 

I felt different, like I was back to my old self, the old Stephanie. The one who fell in love with Hunter in the first place. It felt great being the real me again. Finally he let go of me and looked deep into my eyes. "I love you Steph" he said before he leaned in and kissed me passionately. We just stood there and kissed for a long time. We left the store together with his arm around me the whole time. We went back home and tried to conceive a baby, that way we could start a family. 


End file.
